


This Is How An Angel Dies

by TheImmortalThiefLord



Series: Clarktavia (After death of Lincoln) [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, wordless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheImmortalThiefLord/pseuds/TheImmortalThiefLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lincoln was killed in a fall; Octavia suffers greatly but Clarke is always there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is How An Angel Dies

**Author's Note:**

> Lincoln is dead.

Octavia is sick of the pain, the sorrow, the tears she can no longer hold back. She has cried enough to fill an ocean in the past few weeks, both in public and wrapped up in Lincoln's blankets by herself. It's been two months, and the pain is as fresh as the day it happened. Some days Octavia thinks she's healing, she no longer feels the hurt. But then her body is filled with fresh grief, tearing her apart from the inside.

She tried to stop it once. She was standing near the cliff edge and thought, it'd be so easy to jump, but then Bellamy was there, pulling her away from the edge, rocking her in his arms until she could breathe again, until he could breathe again. She'd not tried again after that.

But she still hates her existence, hates the daily reminders that Lincoln is no longer there. She misses his comforting body sleeping next to her, keeping her warm in the night. She misses his strong, dark hands, how he would comfort her when she had a nightmare. She misses the feel of them running through her hair when he thought she was sleeping, and she misses the little kisses he would wake her with in the morning. But most of all, she misses having a companion. Bellamy comes over when he can, but he's busy with Raven and their daughter. He's asked her, multiple times, to move in with them, but Octavia can't bear to put herself in the middle of another family.

Jasper came over once, bearing flowers and drinks. He'd drunk himself senseless while Octavia watched him. She dumped each cup he'd given her into the bushes. Now she's regretting that decision. Perhaps drinking could make her forget everything.

She makes a mental note to ask Monty for some of his mix in the morning, even as she knows she'll forget to. Her memory has been getting worse ever since the fall.

Octavia can hear someone near her tent and it sounds like another friendly voice which will only make her feel worse, so she slips under the back of the tent and runs into the woods. She's barely thinking about where she's going before she's reached the cave. She enters cautiously, not knowing what she'll find. She hasn't been here since before the fall. 

It hurts her, but doesn't surprise her, to see that nothing has been moved. The bed is still unmade, a pool of wax on the table where a candle has burned down. It looks so—peaceful. As though Lincoln could just walk through that door and pull her onto the bed playfully, like he used to do.

Octavia buries herself in the furs on the bed, smothering her sobs and soaking the pillow. She cries for a long time before falling into a exhausted sleep.

She wakes to a soft voice singing near her and a small hand warm on her back, rubbing in circles. She turns her body over, tears streaking her cheeks.

The second Clarke had seen her small, pitiful form crumpled on the bed her heart had melted. She hadn't been able to stop herself from going over to the girl; watching over her. She promised herself she'd leave before Octavia woke up, but when she saw her stirring she couldn't make herself move away.

Clarke knows what she's doing may be seen as wrong, and it is most certainly not what Bellamy had asked her to do. He wanted her to follow his sister and make sure she wasn't trying to hurt herself again. But Clarke can't help herself from gathering Octavia's thin frame up and holding her close. Octavia is silent, but she doesn't resist either. They sit there like that for over an hour, Clarke gently rocking Octavia and kissing her hair until Octavia falls back to sleep. Clarke lays her carefully back into the blankets and lies down next to her, putting her arms around her again. She watches as Octavia's chest rises and falls with her breathing. The pure love she feels for this girl is unimaginable, hard for even her to understand. But she does love her, and so she stays the whole night, protecting her from the monsters that invade her sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Before "Dancing In The Dark"


End file.
